Mistakes Not to Make Whle Drunk

I was inspired for today's post by a link I saw posted on my newsfeed this morning.  "32 Mistakes not to make while drunk" I am the queen of doing awesomely awesome things while under the influence--- and while those specific stories are for another time--- I thought it'd be fun to delve into some of the more common mistakes.  This list is going to be broken up into three parts--- I won't explain them because they're pretty selfexplanitory.  Enjoy!

Things from the list I am most guilty of:

1.      #1 Bringing up an extremely emotional/pertinent conversation in the middle of a crowded bar where you have to scream at each other by default.  ---Yep.  If you're ever too chicken to bring some real issue up sober--- getting wasted will always help.  Everyone feels great about it.  Until the next morning when you dont remember what was said, and even if you do, everybody was spitting out drunken lies anyway.

2.      #5. Taking off your heels and walking barefoot on even the most hypodermic needle-sprinkled city sidewalks.

3.      #8. Calling, texting, Facebook messaging, emailing, or in any way communicating with someone you’ve ever broken up with. I don’t care if you are bleeding from a stab wound in your abdomen and they drive the only ambulance in town — you wait until you are sober to call or you die.  ---This is a rule to live by.  Dying is probably the safer way to go.

4.      #9. Telling your friend that she is so gorgeous to the point where you actually start to weep from a painful combination of her beauty, the ephemerality of human life, and Jack and Cokes.  ---While I generally don't cry about how beautiful my friends are, I definitely tell them how much I love them-- that still counts right?  Even tho you guys are all beautiful--- don't be offended it hasn't moved me to tears yet. 

5.      #13. Paying for a round of shots with your rent money. ---Paying for shots comes from a pile of money I just don't have-- not just rent.

6.      #21. Making out with your ex, if he/she happens to show up at the party. (No, not even if they look at you with that special look that only you two share. That “look” is called being horny and convenient.) ---- This goes back to the death rule I think.  You're just hurting yourself in the long run here people. 

7.      #29. Attempting to speak a foreign language that you clearly do not speak, upon meeting someone who comes from a country that speaks said language. No one wants to hear your butchered 7th grade Spanish, least of which Ana from Venezuela. ---- I do this with Italian, Spanish, and German.  German? really?  Although I usually try to spare my Austrian friends from this gem of a habit of mine, I distinctly remember yelling all of the nouns I know at some South American who spoke German as well as he did English.  (so clearly-- i go for the German, not the English)

8.       #31. Long Island Iced Teas in general. ---- I was sad when this showed up on the list.  This is my drink of choice--- ALWAYS. (except in Europe where they are disgusting-- no offense Europe)

Things I’m not guilty of but know many-a-person who are:

9.      #3. Falling asleep while waiting for food to heat up. --- Fire department will NOT hesitate to knock down your door....

10.      #24. Smoking a cigarette when you are clearly someone who doesn’t actually smoke. (If everyone around you is like, “Holy shit, “_____ is smoking!” that’s a sign that you shouldn’t be going down this road.) --- I hate this.  I will not go on my whole no-smoking rant.  But I hate this and just because you are drunk doesn't suddenly make cigarettes not cancerous anymore.  Just saying.

Things I've decided to add to the list:

11.  Forget everything.

12. Lose your phone.

I do both of these on a regular basis.  I'd just like to point out that my forgetfulness has very little to do with the amount of alcohol I've consumed.  Just saying. 

Here is a link to the site.  Which ones are you guilty of?  Anything to add?  I was going to write something about dancing--- but thats just not a mistake. 

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/32-mistakes-not-to-make-while-drunk/

The Six Best Things About Back-to-School and The Six Things I Miss About Being a Student

It's that time of year again! Everybody--- welll, not EVERYBODY... but a lot of people are preparing or have already started school again.  It's the one time of year that people are EXCITED about school and it also marks the beginning of fall, which is usually highly anticipated.  At least it is in my book.  As I watch all the students come back to Madison or I see statuses on facebook about returning... I can't help but reflect on the time that I was a student, and how much I miss it. 

Back to School:

1. New semester, new start.  This is the time of year I'm the most motivated.  I decide I'm gunna kick ass the following semester and it feels good to have the slate wiped clean.  (this feeling of course leaves after about 4 days... but it's good while it lasts)

2. Back to school shopping!! Love it.  I always buy shiny things.  And many a thing that I will never need.  I bought an entire pack of metallic colored staple refills like, sophomore year or something.  I still have 98% of them left.  But it's badass when I staple my resume in hottt pink.

3. Apartment shopping! Need I explain further?

4. The first week is all syllabus stuff.  It's all the fun of school without the work.

5. Getting back into a routine.  Although lounging around is fun--- I definitely enjoy being a schedule, making lists so I can make the schedule work, and the executing that schedule well. 

6. Reunions with friends.  While a lot of people stay for the summer, a lot of people don't.  It's fun to see everyone and have friends back all in the same place again.  First weekend back to school runs a VERY close second to Mifflin on my favorite weekends of the year list.  And no. Halloween does NOT make that list. But thats for another week's post.

Things I miss about being a student:

1. The SERF.  They had everything I needed.  A pool, stairs to run, workout classes, and everything else you can imagine.  And it was essentially free.  Finding a decent gym is expensive and hard.

2. Student discounts.  After having my wallet stolen numerous times-- I no longer have my student ID.  Now I have to lie when I go to Flat Top, use someone else's bus pass when I go to Comedy Club, and sometiems just don't plain get discounts at places I haven't figured out how to beat the system. 

3. What I miss about being a freshman: Carefree lifestyle.  You're just getting used to college life and thoroughly enjoying being on your own schedule.  No curfew, no checking in, it's all about you. But you don't have the burden of hard classes. Unless you're Kaley and can't remember the word for "spanish" in spanish. That makes things harder.  I met a lot of my close friends that year and just lived it up.

4. What I miss about being a sophomore: Being a sophomore--- you're WAY cooler than a fresman. like, WAY cooler... or so think all the sophomores.  Sophomore year you're established.  You have a group of friends.  You have an apartment.  You have a little more knowledge and a little more of an idea of where you're headed.  It was a year of learnig experience.  The first time I was in an apartment with friends.  Six of us all together--- which is a lot of girls in a small space.  We learned a lot about each other, and we made it work (for the most part).  Tania and I had some ridiculous times in the loft that still make us burst out laughing talking about them today. 

5. What I miss about being a junior:  Junior year is where things sort of got a little more serious.  I was only there for half of the year, so I had to fit all my Madison time into one semester.  I lived in three different places, probably in equal amounts.  Those three places being: the Tri Delta house (where I technically lived on paper and paid rent to live in), Tania's house, and Grainger Hall (the Business School building).  Definitely worked hard--- but also played hard.  I met my Italian boys this semester--- and I dunno what I'd do without them. :) I'm not including my time in Italy-- because I literally miss EVERYTHING about it. 

 6. What I miss about being a senior: As a senior--- it's not quite like in high school where you run that shit.  But you still feel a sense of being wiser than the silly juniors who are turning 21 left and right doing super smart things  (Me being one of them on that occassion).  You start to get senioritus at some point--- and that's when shit hits the fan.  It starts becoming much less about school and much more about your expereinces.  The friends you've made, the traditions you've built and become a part of, and the memories that you'll always have of these last four years.  You start to freak out about the future and realize that you're not ready.  You start to realize who your friends are vs. your friends you call to go to the bars.  You realize that this phenomenal time in your life is coming to an end, and you're about to start a new chapter.  It's when you think back to when all those old people told you to enjoy every moment of this-- because it goes so fast.  You remember how you just brusehd it off--- everyone says that--- and how now, now you really understand why they said that.  Maybe old people know what they're talking about after all. It's your last year of sweatpants.  The last year you do octobongs in the parking lot.  The last year you can go to the Union without having to buy some STUPID membership card.  Senior year is the culmination of your college career--- when you can look back and revel in your friends, your bad decisions, the few things you've retained from your power lectures.  It's the end of your childhood, really.

All of that being said, when I graduated college, there was nothing I wanted more than to leave school as far behind me as possible.  Homework, studying, sleeping through classes--- it was all over, and I couldn't have been more excited.  I needed the two years I took off of school for me.  I needed that first year to play.  Nothing but waiting tables, drinking, and laughing with good friends.  No, GREAT friends.  That second year?  As you all know, I'm obsessed with Italy. I needed that time to go and do my thing.  Now, I'm happy to say that I'm over this whole transition thing and ready to go into the real world.  Guess we all gotta grow up some time, right?

 er...maybe not...

My 12 Favorite Moments of London 2012

It's been a great Olympics.  It always is. There are so many stories ot inspiration, of hard work, of underdogs rising to the challenge. So, as the 30th Games come to a close, let's look back at some of the best moments.

Honorable mention: Spice Girls reunion.  Oh man.  So awesome.  And they all look so good!!

12. Andy Murray winning Olympic gold at home at Wimbledon.  Pretty special for all the Brits.

11. Missy Franklin.  I think NBC put it best, over and over....and over.... and over... again.  She's the 17-year-old phenom.  In her Olympic debut she won 4 golds and a bronze medal.  She handled the pressure and the media swimmingly (pun intended) being both poised and articulate.  That within itself is a feat for anyone, let alone a 17-year-old.

10. US Women's 4x100 Relay.  They haven't won since 1996 and there was a lot of pressure on them to perform, plus with the Jamaicans in the mix, nobody knew what was going to happen.  Well, they set a new world record.

9. US Women's Sports Teams.  The Women's soccer team, basketball team, and water polo team kicked ass.  The soccer and bball team were expected to win gold. The soccer team was looking for their thrid gold in a row, while the basketball team was looking for their unprecedented FIFTH in a row.  The water polo team was new on the scene winning its first gold in history.  Kickass ladies.  Kickass.  

8. Misty and Kerri. 3 Time Olympic gold. Dropped one set EVER in their Olympic run.  Best beach volleyball team ever. 

7. Mo Farah. Said to be the greatest distance runner Britain has ever seen, Mo certainly gave the home crowd something to cheer about, winning gold in both the 5 and the 10K.

6. Kirani James. He won Grenada's first medal.  And it was gold. Just a 19 year old kid, his success quickly skyrocketed and he became an ambassador to his country. He also displayed an awesome display of sportsmanship when he traded bibs with Oscar Pistorius after their first race.  His country is immensely proud of him, and it's really cool to see an island nation that small come together and be so supportive of their celeb who has experienced overwhelming success.

 5. The Fab 5. First team to win gold since 1996! Only second US team to win gold EVER.  These ladies are so young, and with the way gymnastics is now, they have one chance.  One chance to get it right.  To live the dream.  And before, you could throw scores out and you had two chances on vault.  This time, EVERYTHING counts.  No redos, no cushion... everything has to be perfect on the first try.  And it pretty much was.  They rose to the challenge.  Jordan Wieber got over her own personal disappointment in not making the individual all-around competition and was amazing.   Not only that, but she was the biggest cheerleader for her teammates both during the competition and also from the stands.

4. Usain Bolt.

3. David Boudia.  The US have gone the past two Olympics without diving medals.  But for London, the program stepped it up.  We won three medals in the synchro competition, but were eying a medal in the individual events.  With a less than stellar performance in the prelims, David Boudia grabbed the 18th and final spot in the semi final rounds.  He stepped up his game in the semis, but it's the finals that really count.  And he made it count.  Hitting an almost perfect dive in the later rounds, three divers went into the final round with just tenths and hundreths of a point dividing them.  He needed a perfect dive.  He got it.  And the US Men won their first gold medal since 1988.  It was pretty awesome to watch. Any medal would've been awesome.  But a gold?  Not too many people saw that coming.  Especially with the powerhouse Chinese and the British version of Justin Bieber (except this guy is actually pretty hott--- if he wasn't 18, I'd hop on that train immediately) in the mix, gold was a farther stretch than anybody was really looking.

2. Oscar Pistorius. Not much needs to be said about this one.  A double amputee running against everybody else in the OLYMPICS?  A seriously phenomenal story.  When you watch his interviews and the pieces done on him, he's a super articulate guy and just someone you can't help cheering for.

1. Mikey's Medals.  If you hadn't figured it out by my last post, I'm obsessed with Michael Phelps. But this obsession has very little to do with his number one position on this list.  18 gold medals and 22 in all?  That's a pretty ridiculous feat.  Yes, he's in a sport that allows him to win a lot of medals, but even within his sport, nobody even comes close.  Nobody matches the sheer dominance that he does in anything that they do.  It's been amazing to watch what he's brought to the sport of swimming.  It's been amazing to watch him over the years.  I admit I didn't know who he was since Athens, but ever since then--- <3  <3  I almost passed out when I got his autograph.  He's a phenomenal athlete and a great role model.

My New Top 12 Men

Had to be redone in light of recent events.

12. Michael Phelps. Gorgeous stroke.

11. Michael Phelps. He cleans up well!

 10. Michael Phelps.  Nothing sexier than a man good with kids.

9.  Michael Phelps.  Greatest.Olympian.Ever.

8. Michael Phelps.  Look at that BODY.

7. Michael Phelps.  He's an underwear model for Christ's sake.

6. Michael Phelps.  He's got the smoldering look down well.

5. Michael Phelps. His focus and determination is beyond belief.

4. Michael Phelps. Yum.

3.  Michael Phelps. Look at that smile!

2. Michael Phelps. His drive.

1. Michael Phelps.  A God.  He's not only a beautiful specimen of human being, but he's also a role model.  His hard work and determination, his success, his poise, and his values.  He's the greatest Olympian in history and will most likely remain that way throughout history.  There are so many reasons why he's so successful and so well respected.  You're a boss Mike.  Getting his autograph was like one of the best and most awesome experiences of my life.  <3  <3  <3 

And I totally don't care that I'm SUPER annoying because I made this list entirely devoted to him. 

Special Edition: Olympics- My Favorite Events

It's that time again!! THE OLYMPICS! As you all know, I'm a GIANT and idiotic sports fan.  So, you can only imagine how obsessed I am with the Olympics.  The BEST athletes from around the globe, competing on one stage, every FOUR years.  Thank goodness that it's every two years when you throw the winter games in there.  I love everything about the games.  I love the inspirational stories, I love the phenomenal athletics, I love the spirit of everything, and I love Bob Costas.  It's especially great because there are a lot of sports that don't have Super Bowls, Stanley Cups, major tournaments such as golf and tennis, etc.--- and for MY sport, this is swimming's biggest stage.  Along with a lot of other great sports. 

I take this very seriously.  I DVR everything, I wake up early and go to bed late to watch live coverage (this obviously depends on where the Games are held).  I basically schedule my life around watching as much coverage as possible.  I take off of work and I don't make plans with friends.  Unless we're going to be watching the Olympics together, that is. So, here is a list of my favorite twelve sports to watch.  Both summer and winter games.  They are ranked in order, my favorite being last.  But keep in mind that I enjoy watching ALMOST all of the other not mentioned sports as well.  There are a few exceptions with table tennis and curling and shit. 

12. Women's Track and Field. Track and Field has a long history in the Johnson family.  Will always remember Gail Devers and her nails and I'm excited to see what Allyson Felix will do in London!

11. Alpine Skiing in general. There are five disciplines: Downhill, slalom, giant slalom, Super G, and combined, which is a combination of the slalom and downhill. They go so fast! They're so good and it's always exciting.  There are some HUGE names in this sport and it's never a disappointment to watch.

10. Rowing. As a rower, it's really cool to see how effing FAST they go. And I love when the oars are the country's flag. That's pretty cool.

9. Men's Speed Skating.  Just all around really cool.  Their legs are HUGE. Great athletes. The Dutch own this event.  Sven Kramer is ADORABLE.  But that has only a little to do with how fun it is to watch.

8. SnoX.  aka: Snowcross. It's basically a race on your snowboard with turns and jumps throughout the course.  It's sort of like short-track speed skating in "anything goes."  Frequently there are falls and riders take out other riders.  It's very strategic and things can change at a second's notice.  I get really nervous before this event.  It's very exciting and it's a fairly newer sport, just recently introduced into the Olympics. Both men's and women's are exciting to watch. 

7. Biathlon.  Now, this was a sport that, until 2010 Vancouver games, I thought was the most RIDICULOUS (in a bad way) sport I had ever heard of.  What?  You cross country ski and then SHOOT things?  seriously?  How incredibly RANDOM.  But, two years ago, I must've been bored out of my mind, because I watched some of it.  Well, needless to say--- I'm now a believer.  Holy shit.  These people are literally the best athletes in the world.  You cross country ski--- which is already really, really hard and physically demanding, but then you have to get your heard rate down low enough to concentrate and shoot at targets.  You stop three different times during the race and shoot at five targets.  Each stop is a different position.  You lay down, you kneel, and you stand.  For every target that you miss, you have to do a penalty lap on your skis which is both tiring and obviously also time consuming.  There is a staggered start so it's hard to know where you are during the race and you have to wait until the end when you have everybody's time to know the final results.  But, HOLY MOLY.  These athletes are out of control. They're awesome. 

6. Men's Track and Field.  Can't be a Johnson without getting into track.  My dad has been a runner since forever and so I've been watching for as long as I can remember. Michael Johnson.  Badass mo fo.  And Usain Bolt?  Good lord.

5. Women's gymnastics.  This is why I started watching the Olympics.  The '96 Magnificent Seven is what got me into the games and the spirit of the whole thing.  I was finally old enough to understand and appreciate what the Olympics were and the story of the women's team that year is truly inspirational. My cousin and I would watch hours of coverage and then go to the beach (we were on vacation) and do cartwheels and pretend like we were Olympians.  We even went out to Walgreens to buy Ace bandages to wrap our wrists and ankles like the gymnasts did.  (super cool, i know) Dominique Moceanu is/was my hero.

4. Women's Swimming. I love swimming.  The women aren't QUITE as exciting to watch as the men, but I definitely had my idols as a swimmer growing up and I think these women are fantastic.  There are some great stories historically and at these Olympics.  It's really going to be exciting to watch.

3. Men's Short track speed skating.  So hardcore. You NEVER know whats going to happen, and I get nervous every.single.time.  Apolo brought a lot of viewers to the sport, and I must say, I'm a huge fan.  But it's just really interesting and exciting to watch, no matter who is on the track. 

2. Men's Halfpipe. One of my boys just ROCKS everybody else at this event, and it's just AMAZING to watch.  It's ridiculous how frickin GOOD he is.  I mostly love it because of him, but there is no denying how great the event is as well.  Plus my dad always says things like: "He really stomped that booter!" or "LOOK AT THAT ALTITUDE!" so, there's that.

1. Men's Swimming.  This is a no brainer.  And with Michael Phelps, I think it's great that he's brought so many viewers to the world of swimming.  You have spectacular story lines, great athleticism, and of course--- the prettiest boys.  :) I love both Ryan and Mikey equally, this rivalry is really stressing me out.

Need I say more? <3  <3  <3